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How to Deal With Loss (4 Tips for Cancer Caregivers)

4 months ago · · 0 comments

How to Deal With Loss (4 Tips for Cancer Caregivers)

Caring for a cancer patient has never been easy, much less if it’s your sister, mother, father, granny, or close relative.

There are days you hope they’ll live. And days you wish the pain in their eyes could just be over. Some days you hope desperately and pray earnestly. “Please, God, let my sister live. Give her another chance.”

You hold the faith for your loved one, fundraise, and accompany them for the radiotherapy and chemotherapy. You firmly believe it’s going to be okay. Even this shall pass, and we’ll triumph! You look for alternatives to keep their esteem high when their hair falls.

But there are scary days when you watch their eyes shrunken with despair. Days when you are anxious, burned out, and stressed, wondering why us. You hope to see the day everything will get back to normal ;for laughter-filled meals during Christmas.

Sometimes God grants your wishes, but sometimes it never happens.

And you’re angry and in denial, wondering, “Why God? Why did you take my sister? Why did she have to die? But we thought we could beat this. We prayed, Lord. We fasted for days. Never did a day go by without us fighting.”

Then everything comes crashing, and you’re on a rollercoaster of emotions. You wonder if the fight and financial strain were worth it.

During times like these, you need someone who understands your pain. Someone to listen to your internal anger debates and offer a shoulder to cry on, as cliché as that might sound.

How a Counselor Can Help You Overcome Cancer-Related Grief

Counselors may not always solve your problems, but they will help you deal with your negative feelings and emotions. They offer practical tips to help you develop healthy coping mechanisms, and support you in finding purpose and meaning in life after loss.

With their help, you’ll navigate the complex and often confusing emotions associated with grief. They’ll tell you it’s essential to let it out by crying; no need to lock in your emotions. In fact, it is unsafe to do so because you can self-harm.

We’ve found that journaling or hitting the gym hard are good ways to release negative emotions. Joining a support group can also work because you need emotional support, and talking it out helps.

But most of all, therapy offers a safe palace to talk and express your anger. It helps you go through the stages of grief and eventually accept that your loved one is gone and it wasn’t your fault. If anything, you did the best you could.

4 Tips to Help You Cope After the Loss of a Loved One

It’s easy to lose yourself when grieving. Especially if you put in the hard work caring for the patient before their demise. But, these four things can help you navigate this period:

1. Try and keep up with the daily activities of life

Wake up in the morning, shower, brush your teeth and hair, and put on some clothes. Even if you don’t feel like it, take breakfast and small meals throughout the day.

Write a to-do list, like putting in a load of laundry at 4 pm, because you will likely need to remember. Ideally set a schedule accounting for every hour from when you wake up to when you go to bed.

2. Get enough rest

Sleep is good for the body and brain, especially when grieving because you tend to tire quickly, even in the morning.

Sleep and awake at the same time every day, if you can, and avoid oversleeping or cutting yourself from people. You also need to occasionally step out, walk a bit, or talk to someone you trust.

3. Don’t be too hard on yourself

Most caregivers blame themselves or think they could have saved their loved ones from death. While these emotions will definitely arise at some point, don’t beat yourself up for not being there or not doing enough. Feeling a wide range of emotions is normal, so treat yourself with grace.

4. Talk to someone

Talking to someone you trust helps in the healing process. You can talk to a qualified counselor to get the most out of therapy. A counselor determines how fast you’re able to deal with your emotions and not self-harm or get depressed.

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